It's been 3 1/2 months already?!

I’m a quarter of the way through my first year in Korea.  It seems surreal that the first three months have gone by so fast and smoothly.  During this time, I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Although I have lived in Korea as a small child, it is still surprising to me that I haven’t experience any culture shock.   In the past, twenty-some years, I have fully acclimated to a very western lifestyle.  This isn’t to say that things are vastly different from the way things are at home (the U.S) or from what I had experienced in Korea many years ago.  However no matter how western Korea tries to be, it is in the heart of heart, an Asian country.  While I can’t really call it culture shock, there are things that I find puzzling.

There are some things that are so ingrained into their culture and habit, it doesn’t actually matter whether that practice seems useless.  For example: Koreans always take their shoes off when entering a home.  In schools, each student has a place to put their street shoes and change into their school slippers.  In theory, this is a good practice.  That is until you realized that those “inside” slippers spend a lot of time outside, thus negating the practical side of indoor slippers.  The hallways aren’t any less dirty.  Another example is about the heating situation.  As we fast approach the cold winter months, it is surprising that all the windows are opened “to let in fresh air”.  I agree that fresh air is important, but so is keeping the people healthy.  When people get sick, the illness tends to linger much longer.  No wonder, it’s probably warmer outside in the sun than inside (in the shade).

On the flip side, Korea is a very safe place to live and many Koreans still maintain their child-like innocents.  In some ways, I envy the way they see the world with innocent eyes.  It seems the bad things only ever happen in dramas.  Middle-aged women offer to hold strangers bags on a crowded subway or bus.  They never once think that we might find this strange.  We tend to look at everyone with our suspicious eyes, including the sweet old ladies.  Because who hasn’t seen “Dirty Dancing”...it’s always the sweet looking old people stealing other people’s wallet!  Their willingness to help a stranger always melts my heart.  There are the older men, who walk you to the subway station and help you buy the subway ticket even though you’re more than capable to doing it yourself.  Or the old ladies, who pass out sweet potatoes on the bus because they had extras.

In the land of giving, there is always an expectation to receive.  There is no shame in asking for things, especially by the children. They often forget to say “thank you”.  After saying thanks to some of the people who had helped, it seems that saying “thank you” is overrated.  They know that you’re grateful and they even seem surprise when you say thank you each time they do something nice.  In any case, I will continue to say “thank you” for any good deeds given.

Take It Easy

It's been three weeks (almost), since I landed in Korea.  My first weekend, I explored my town, Dangjin.  I walked around and found the necessary items for at least a couple of weeks.  I stumbled upon the open market on the off-day.  While there are still cute, little old ladies selling their goods, the real action happens on the 5th and 10th day of the month.

The weekend after was Chuseok, Koreans version of Thanksgiving.  During this time, people visit their family members and pay tribute to their ancestors by cleaning their graves.  Since my one family member lives in Ulsan, I ventured there with my trusted phrasebook and hoped I wouldn't get too lost.  Daejeon is about 1.5 hours from Dangjin and a major city where I needed to transfer to catch the bus to Ulsan.  When I arrived in Daejeon and I was dropped off...somewhere.  I got a little lost and when I found my way back 20 minutes later, I realized that I had been dropped off just across the street from the main bus terminal.  Next time, I will take the time to read the signs rather than just following the flow of people.  Since it was a major holiday, I waited another 3.5 hours for the next open seat on the bus.  The trip that would normally take 4 hours turned into an 8 hour journey.  It's still better than Gilligan's 3 hour tour!  But I finally arrived in Ulsan to see Mysti!  We went and had dinner with Janna, where we ordered way too much food.  We really need to pay better attention to the menus and stop thinking we can eat like "Gilmore Girls".  Then off to my first Norebong experience with out new Korean friends.  Yeah, I can't believe I actually went to a karaoke room and sang.  I blame the soju.  Then we went and played one of the beach side games where you pop the ballon with the darts and we all won stuffed "Hello, Kitty" heads.  Again, I had a lot of soju.  The next day, Mysti and I explored Ulsan as we walked through the open market and Old Downtown.  Later that evening, we stopped to eat some street food and had a drink at a bar.  On Chuseok, we went "hiking" at Ilsan Beach.  One thing I had heard prior to coming to Korea was that some girls actually go on these hiking trails in heels.  While I knew I would see such sights, it did still raise my eyebrows.  Then again, I went in my flip flops.  We enjoyed the beautiful scenery and got a little exercise.

After Chuseok, I had 2 days of teaching before the weekend.  Although, I have been here for three weeks, I still don't feel as if I have settled into my job.  I split my time between 2 schools.  My main school, I teach the 5th and 6th graders with an average of 22 students in each class.  My second school, there are only about 40 students in the entire school.  I teach all but the two 4th graders.  It is amazing how class sizes matter.  At my main school, my 5th and 6th graders think that English class is their fun time and are completely out of control.  Some days, they are pretty well-behaved; other times, the 40 minutes can't end fast enough.  I have started to use my stern, loud voice, which have silenced the room when needed.  My students at the second school are my angels.  Not only are they well-behaved, but so eager to learn.  I can already see myself getting attached to these adorable kids.

This past weekend, I met some of the other Native English teachers, both in public and private schools.  It is comforting to know that there are so many of us in this "tiny" city.  It is nice to exchange stories and talk without thinking about each and every word.  I think especially in the public schools where there is only one Native teacher, it can feel a bit isolating.  Koreans are shy people and are fearful to speak English.  On top of that, I can sense that other teachers are disappointed that I can't speak Korean.  It's been too hard to explain my adoption story and why I lost my Korean language skills to them.  So they think I'm an idiot or just a bad Korean.  Either way, there hasn't been much opportunity to learn Korean.  My one saving grace is the After School English teacher at my main school, whom I met yesterday.  Her English is excellent and so outgoing, she reminds me of all my friends back home.

Although I haven't been here long, I have already learned to "take it easy" and just let things happen.  There is no use in trying to plan too far in advance because everything happens in Korean time (though not quite like the Aloha time).  My many years of moving to different places and traveling has helped me to be more outgoing, which has been helpful in meeting new people.  Most of all, I am discovering my love of teaching (thanks to my second school).  At the end of the day, I know I'm here for my students and that puts a smile on my face.

First 48 hours in Korea

After more than 17 hours of travel, I finally made it to Korea about 5am yesterday.  I waited until 7am for the driver to show up.  After that, I waited another hour for a different driver because he was the only one who knew where I was supposed to go.  Then, I went straight to the Dangjin head office to wait for my co-teacher(s).  I met 2 teachers, one who was leaving, another who was replacing him.  They took me to my apartment, lunch, and school.  I wasn't prepared to meet the principle as I had just gotten off the plane and wasn't in my best form.  Nonetheless, there we went.  My teachers introduced me to various other teachers and office employees.  Each time, my co-teacher had to explain why I couldn't speak Korean.  They did not seem pleased.  So it goes.  Finally at the end of the day, my co-teacher, the replacement, took me to Lotte Market to buy some essentials: coffee marker, grinder (of sorts), and school slippers.  He seemed please at my fast shopping ability.  I explained that I actually hate shopping.  It had been a long day, so I unpacked, shower, looked at the lesson for the next day, and went to sleep.

In the morning, my principal picked me up and took me to my school.  My first school is about a 20 minute drive or 1 hour bus ride.  The first 4 periods are my 5th and 6th grade classes and the rest of the day is for lesson planning.  All I did today was observe the class.  The children were trying to speak to me in Korean and was disappointed that I couldn't reply.  Few are trying to teach me...and I thought I was the teacher!  After school, I met my co-teacher from my second school.  My first day there will be Wednesday.  This juggling two schools should be interesting.  On another note, I was asked whether I was married or single by teachers and students.  I know it's a common question and people are curious.  One thing I had trouble explaining was WHY (which my principal asked).  "Uh, I don't know.  I haven't met the right person yet."  Then he told me that maybe I will find someone in Korea.  I guess anything is possible.

My city, Dangjin: First, it is a lot bigger than what I imagined.  Because of Hyundai, the city has grown exponentially in the last ten years.  There are high rise apartments everywhere and the city limit is huge (hence the hour bus ride to my schools).  My apartment is near downtown Dangjin and close to the bus terminal.  Apparently, the downtown is not safe at night...they said something about the Chinese.  It is about an hour bus ride from Seoul and about 4 hours from Ulsan (Mysti).  Apparently, my apartment building has a lot of foreigners and I met three tonight.  I'm always up for meeting new people!

Until next time :-)

Come Full Circle (Almost): from Korea to Korea

With less than 24 hours before my flight to Korea, it hasn't quite hit me that I am actually leaving.  It also seems somewhat surreal because I have nothing left to do on my last day.  I feel as if I need to run around to make last minute purchases, eat my favorite food, or anything else I have forgotten to do.  But I have nothing left to do, except wait for my shuttle.  So here I sit, in front of my computer, awaiting my journey.  It won't really hit me until I board my first leg of the flight.  Perhaps, it won't even hit me until I board the second leg to Seoul.  

The thing that seems more strange than anything else, is my actual return to Korea.  It has been 23 years, 1 month, and 29 days since I left Korea.  At that time, I never imagine returning to my mother's homeland.  On top of my anxiety of becoming a first time teacher (because that's not enough), I am filled with both excitement and trepidation about my returned to the country I've spent almost ten years of my childhood.  I've lost most of my language skills and adopted a very Western behavior and ideology.  I fear I may not fit in with the other side of my heritage because of my long absence.  No matter how much research I do, there will certainly be customs I may not be aware.  I fear people will expect me to know more than I do.  They will demand certain behaviors from me, which I will find foreign.  During my nine months of research and Korean emergence, I wonder if I romanticized the friendly people, rice paddies in the countryside, fabulous food and street venders, ancient archaeological site, and beautiful landscape.

I'm sure there will be good times and bad.  No matter where anyone lives, it will never be perfect.  There will be different customs, rude people, and unsavory food, but that's everywhere.  Korea is a home of my childhood, although I wasn't born there.  But I feel as if I am coming full circle.  In some ways, it is a turn home.  I'm looking forward to sharing all my adventures and mishaps with all my friends.

Finally back on track: My Impending Journey to Korea

A week after sending out a gazillion resumes to China, Japan, and Taiwan, I am finally back on track to go to South Korea.  I was really trying to convince myself that I would be happy teaching anywhere in Asia, but something kept pulling me back to Korea.  I still haven't been rejected, wait-listed, nor confirmed for EPIK.  I didn't know if or when I would be placed with them.  After a slight melt down and a calm re-evaluation of my situation, I decided (with the help of Mysti) that I would wait for Korea.

As I stated in my previous post, the problem is that I don't have another FBI Criminal Background Check (CBC) and it takes three months to get it.  So I went and got another set of fingerprints and expressed mailed another request to the FBI.  Although it seemed like a long shot, I contacted another recruiter to look at my options.  To my surprise, I was told that I could use a copy of my FBI CBC as long as I got it notarized and Apostille!  Also, we looked at the possibility of getting my documents back from EPIK and have them sent to the new provincial office where I was applying.

I just want to explain how fast everything happened because I've been dealing with my EPIK application since April!  This all started Tuesday, just two days ago!

• I had an interview with the recruiting agency on Tuesday night and sent them a copy of my entire EPIK package.  
• Several hours later, I received a message, which had my interview time with the Chungnam Education Office (the actual employer).  I found out in the morning that Chungnam office had contacted EPIK to get my documents.  This prompted an immediate email from my first recruiter asking for an explanation.
• I had a slight panic attack because I didn't want both places to reject my application for using two recruiters.  Then Mysti calmed me down.  I had already explained my situation to my new recruiter and he was fine with it.
• Last night (Wednesday), I had a 20 minute interview and I explained the EPIK situation again.  She didn't have a problem with it (PHEW!).  Another 20 minutes later, I was offered the job.  
• My new recruiter is sending my Contract and Notice of Appointment tonight (tomorrow morning in Korea)!
• After the interview, I emailed my first recruiter to withdraw my EPIK application and get the contact information for the EPIK coordinator in charge of my file.
• I received the contact information (to my surprise).  I am grateful to them because they didn't have to help me after I withdrew my application.
• I emailed EPIK and asked for my documents to be sent to the Chungnam Education Office.  Now, I wait.
• I emailed my references for another original letter of recommendation and received confirmation from both.  Thank you, Gary Vogt and Dr. Peter Hunt.  You two are lifesavers!!!
• I just got the copy of my FBI CBC notarized!  And now I need to get it Apostille.

My big fear is that something else will go wrong and I will have to start this process all over again.  But if all goes well, I should be boarding a plane for Seoul in about a week (depending on how long it takes for me to get my visa).

Oh right, can't forget about my life lesson!  This is what I've learned (or re-learned) in the last couple of days.  Life doesn't happen the way you plan. But if you want something bad enough, never settle for anything less.  Eventually, it will all work out.  I may still run into road blocks ahead and I may not make it to Korea in the next couple of weeks.  Even if that happens, I will be patient and flexible.  I will eventually make it to Korea!

End of an Era: To My Dear Sister, Mysti!

This post is dedicated to my long time flat mate, best friend, and soul sister, Mysti!

It all began during the Stanley Cup Finals eleven years ago.  It was the 5th game: Dallas Stars versus New Jersey Devils.  As we watched the triple overtime game from an uncomfortable bar seat, I knew that Mysti and I would be friends for a long time.  At that time, I didn't know just how close we would become or that we would become roommates.  Now after ten years, one month, and 16 days of being flat mates, I have to say "Farewell" as she embarks on her new journey to South Korea.  I can turn this into a sentimental, sappy good-bye, but instead I want to reflect on some key moments over the past decade of friendship.  After all, it's really not good-bye forever (because I hope to be in Korea before too long).

It may surprise some people that a die-hard Dallas Stars fan would be friends with a die-hard Red Wings fan.  However, we came to an agreement a long time ago to be respectful of each other's team without resorting to violence or name calling.  Our friendship was also cemented by our deep DISLIKE for the Colorado Avalanche (yes, we are aware that we live in the Avs country).  While our bond of sisterhood may have started because of our love for hockey, it has grown into something much more...like our love for football, dislike of basketball, and ability to kick most guys asses in sport trivia.

After more than ten years, we have seen the best and worst of each other.  We have gone through relationship break-ups, unemployments, family deaths, Breast Cancer 3-Day, and many others.  We traveled to Europe and half way across the country.  We threw an amazing New Years Party, at which we jumped into the freezing ocean water.  Few weeks later, we threw another party (New Years "Re-Do") for all our friends who couldn't make it.   We started many traditions: midnight shows of Harry Potter, our usual pizza (pineapple, black olives, and jalapenos), Ren Faire, and New Years in different countries.  We encouraged each other as we re-entered the college life as thirty-somethings.  We even decided to teach English in South Korea (she just gets to go before me).  Sometimes we fought, other times we comforted each other as only true sisters could.  We have jokes no one else understands and can have full conversations in which others can't follow.

She is the Phoebe to my Rachel, Meredith to my Christina, and Oscar to my Felix.  Anyone brave enough to date either of us knows that he will always come second (or perhaps third after Kim).  Yes, the friendship like ours is rare and many people don't quite understand.  But it has worked for ten years because it's not about all the good times we shared, but also the trying and difficult ones.  As I reflect on the first decade of our relationship, I know that we will celebrate many more.  No matter where are are in the world, we will always be just a phone call or plane ride away.  Although it is an end of an era, it is just the beginning of our friendship! Have a safe travel, dear sister, and I will see you soon!

Why I travel...

My friends and I started a new tradition several years ago, which is to spend each New Years in a different country.  Although we took a 2 year hiatus, we are back on track this year - - -South Korea.  As we plan our 6th trip abroad, I remember back to MY first trip, not OUR first trip.  I want to clarify this because a part of the tradition (unintentionally) is that someone from the four of us misses a trip while we add a new member.  We always welcome new traveling buddies!

I think first trip abroad is the most memorable because it is the FIRST trip.  There are a lot of fun stories from each trip, but France was definitely memorable.  But what I remember most was what others were saying about the French before I left.  They warned me that French people were rude and I wouldn't have fun.  WOW, what a gross generalization of an entire population!!!  I tried not to let them influence my fabulous vacation though.  And good thing I didn't.

It has been my experience that French people are one of the nicest people I've ever met while traveling.  I'm not trying to start an argument with anyone who may have had a different experience.  I found the French to be incredibly kind and friendly.  I've asked, parlez-vous anglais?, more times than I can count.  To which I received a friendly smile and "yes, I speak English."  The most obnoxious group of people we encountered were two couples from Philly as they practically screamed, "Hi, do you speak English?" Ok, people, they're not deaf.  And the most basic traveling etiquette is to learn at least "Hello" in their language.  I've never taken French and I pronounce most of the French words as if I'm pronouncing a Spanish word.  But I still manage to remember a few key phrases.  We are guests in their country and  we need to be respectful.

My favorite memory is when an older Parisian gentleman tried to help us because he thought we were lost.  We weren't really lost, but it made our day!  Another, when I asked for a cafe au lait, and the waiter jokingly asked (in French) if I wanted that with Cognac.  Ah, no, too early.  I also had a conversation with a Frenchman in Spanish while he spoke to me in Italian, since neither of us spoke each others language.  We got the gist of what we were saying.  If I had gone to France with the preconceived notion that French people were rude, I may have treated them differently.  I'm really glad I didn't.

I think everyone has a different experience traveling abroad, sometimes it's great and other times it's miserable.  Not all our experiences were great or happy.  That would be impossible.  But 4 years and 6 countries later, I'm still infected by the "travel bug".  I get excited just thinking about the wonderful locals and all the things I will learn from them.  Because for me, traveling is about getting to know the people and their culture.  The things I remember the most are the interactions and the conversations I've had with the locals and fellow travelers.  This is why I travel.

My First Adoption Story

I hesitated before starting this entry about my adoption.  I’ve always answered people’s questions about my adoption without blinking and I don’t particularly find it intrusive.  During my teen years and early twenties, it seemed to dominate my life.  How could it not, there was just SO MUCH DRAMA!  But now I’m so far removed from my adopted family, I sometimes forget about them completely.  There was once anger, but now there is indifference.

Most adopted children don’t remember their birth parents.  If they do, it is often a vague and unclear image.  I remember exactly how my mom looked and how her voice sounded.  I remember the look she used to give me when I did something bad.  I remember the last thing she told me before I boarded the plane from Seoul to Minnesota, “Be a good girl and study hard so you can go to college”.  This was her big dream for me --- college.  In order to understand my mother’s decision, let me share a brief biography of myself.

            I was born in Louisiana in 1976; only 4 months after my mother married my father in Ohio.  My father was an American soldier based in South Korea when he met my mother.  This is an all too familiar story.  The difference was that my father married my mother.  Then later, he went back to South Korea for another tour, while his wife and two children stayed in the States.  I don’t have the details of what happened next except that my mother found out about my father’s affair with another Korean woman.  So, my mother packed up her things and her two small children, two and one-year-old, and left for Korea in order to confront my father.  All my mother would tell me was that they promptly got a divorce and separated the two children.  My brother went with my father and I stayed with my mother.  For the next nine years, my mother struggled to support us.  I was often left with my grandmother or aunt, so my mother could work.  When I started school, she somehow found a way to pay for the expensive private school.  Apparently, US citizens could not go to the Korean public schools.  Her only option was to give up my US citizenship or spend money on expensive private school.  So I spent my early education with other American children, whose parents were based at Camp Casey.  But my tuition proved to be too expensive and I often miss school.

By the summer of 1987, I had already missed an entire year of school. Then on August 27, 1987, day after my eleventh birthday she told me that she was sending me away.  She asked how I would feel about going back to America without her.  I didn’t understand why I would go anywhere without her.  Then she explained that an American family would adopt me.  Parents always say things they don’t actually mean---I just thought this was one of those instances.  When I realized that she wasn’t joking, I begged her not to send me away and I promised to do whatever she wanted.  I promised to be a good girl.  After hours of crying and begging, she promised not to bring up the subject again.  I had won.

Then six months later, my mom’s friend came for a visit with her 5-year-old daughter, Sunni.  While the two friends went out to catch up, I stayed and played with Sunni.  We stayed up watching T.V and eating watermelons.  Sunni still remembers that night.  The next day, my world was turned upside down.  People from St Vincent Orphanage came for both Sunni and myself.   I don’t remember protesting at this point.  I was just shocked and accepted my new fate.

I was at St. Vincent for less than four months.  During that time, my mother visited me with gifts and money.  Each time, she told me that it would only be temporary.  She would find a way to get to the States to reclaim me, but it was important for me to be apart of a new family.  I had to be a good girl and study hard.  I was told that my mother and Sunni’s mother had requested for us to be placed into the same family.  So, the five-year-old girl I had just met would soon be my sister.  I don’t know why they thought it would help.  My guess is that they just wanted us to be with someone we knew however brief.  Our age difference was too great at that time for us to truly bond.  My time at the orphanage was pleasant enough.  We had English classes during the day in order to prepare for our new lives in the States.  Most of the time, I was bored out of my mind.  I had been bilingual my whole life and I was learning how to say, “Hello, my name is Angie”.  After classes, I played with my friends and helped the cook with various chores.  I made some good friends, whom I’ve kept in touch with after I arrived in Minnesota (though for just a short time).

On my eighteenth birthday, my adopted mother told me that my biological mother had called.  She said it was up to me to do whatever I wanted.  Naturally, I was in shock.  This was the second time that my world had turned upside down.  The first emotion was anger.  Although my adopted mother had a different interruption for my anger, it was still a genuine emotion.  I won’t go into the boring details of my reunion with my birth mother.  It started off with a letter and eventually I was ready to visit her.  I met my stepfather and my two sisters.  I also found out that my mom met my stepfather just months after my adoption.  My stepfather tracked down and contacted my adopted family less than two years after my adoption.  But he was told he had to wait until I turned eighteen.  My stepfather is truly amazing and very prompt!  My mom and I spent years trying to repair our broken relationship.  We even had a conversation about finding my brother.  When she passed away in 2004 from cancer, we were on the verge of being back to where we were twenty some years ago.

I won’t go into the details of my life with my adoptive family.  But I am longer in contact with any of them.  Sunni and I were placed into the same family and we kept in touch on and off until a few years ago.  We were always very different and I had left the family long ago.  I have no reasons to rehash our childhood or talk about all the problems we faced.  I moved on with my life.

I don’t wonder what it would have been like if I had stayed with my mom in Korea.  But I do wonder what our relationship would have been like if my adopted mother allowed us to have contact before my eighteenth birthday.  Seven years after my mother’s death, none of it matters.  Perhaps, I should find my brother. 

I don’t think my adoption experience defines who I am.  But it is apart of me.  I don’t hold a strong opinion for or against adoption.  I think there are many different circumstances beyond our imaginations.  I believe that people in general don’t make adoption decisions lightly.  I believe there are good adopted parents just as there are horrible ones.  There are good and bad biological parents, those who cherish their children just as much as they abuse.  There are adoption agencies that make a profit, while others do not.  We are given what we are given.  We must accept the past, live in the moment, and look forward to the future.  I don’t have any words of wisdom anymore than the next person.  But I will say this: I don’t feel inferior to others because of my adoption.  There is no shame in being adopted.  I am defined by the decisions and choices I make in life, not by my circumstances.  We will all have different opinions and experiences, but what makes us human is our compassion.  This is the one lesson I hold close to my heart.

Light at the end of the tunnel

We've all experience many frustrations in life.  It takes a form of a poor service at a restaurant, waiting on the phone for the next available agent, driving in Colorado (people, learn how to merge!), dealing with stupid people and their stupid questions (yes, there is such a thing), waiting to hear about a job, or unreasonable family members and their demands.  Sometimes our frustrations are short-lived and other times...not so short-lived.  As human beings, we let these outside forces dictate our inner selves.

But at the end of the day (figurative), does it matter?  We get up after a meal and don't linger too long on the bad service we just received.  We all know how to tip or not tip.  If you do, well...I don't know what to tell you.  The next available agent will eventually get on the phone.  There will always be stupid and unreasonable people.  It's easier to avoid them.  A job will eventually appear.  I too have been unemployed and feel your pain.

I guess my point is this: When we are going through these experiences, it always seems as if we are caught in a really bad soap opera.  Then you look back a few days, weeks, months or years later to realize that it wasn't worth getting upset...or at least not to the point we did.  I will be the first person to admit that this outlook doesn't always work.  I am over-dramatic!  Yes, the world is collapsing and I am falling into the abyss!  And you cannot convince me otherwise.  Being human, I feel the full force of my emotions.  But eventually, I get over it.  I have to constantly remind myself that everyone must deal with unpleasant situations and people.  That's called living.  Times like these, I like to channel my favorite Greek Philosopher, Epictetus.  I'm paraphrasing here, but he says that it is useless to constantly think about the externals because it is completely outside of our control.

Next time you feel like punching somebody in his "junk", remember, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  Everything will eventually work itself out.  Just make sure you have good friends and family members who will be there to remind you: you are fabulous!

World Wide Discrimination

I've lived my life sheltered from many of the horrible discrimination other Asian Americans faced.  This isn't to say that there wasn't any in my life.  It was mild and under-handed.  Most of the time, it wasn't worth my time to respond.  But in recent months, I've read stories of other Asian or Korean Americans who had faced many disgusting remarks and treatments.  Their stories at times seemed so far fetched and incredible.  Their stories made me realize just how far we are from overcoming racism.

This isn't a lecture on how people should treat each other with kindness or justify the anger people feel from the injustice of their circumstances.  The common thread of the stories seem to be about "white man's" superiority.  There is a divide between each individual races or ethnicity.  It's more simple to look at racism as "us versus them".  But the reality if much different.

As a half Korean and half Caucasian thirty-something female, I have recently learned that I am less desirable to teach English in an Asian country than a Caucasian man or woman.  This is despite the fact that I graduate with magna cum laude, completed an Honors Thesis, and studied 4 languages including Latin and Ancient Greek.  So for all those people who think that racism can only happen to minorities by "whites", I'm here to tell you that it happens by Asian for being Asian.  The only way to end racism is to acknowledge the many different form it takes.

Now what???

When I started my new journey to teach English in South Korea, I didn't realize that I would be jobless with 8 days until orientation.  For those who have not heard about my process, let me give you the CliffNotes version.

I started the South Korean English program research back in December when teaching seemed like a better alternative to graduate school.  My Honors Thesis wasn't going well and I had bombed my GRE in August.  Needless to say, my confidence in my post undergraduate academic ability was shaken.  I decided that I would teach English to regain not only my confidence, but also my deep love of academia.

• Mid February:  I started my EPIK (English Program in Korea) process by getting fingerprints for the FBI Criminal Background Check.


• Feb-March: Requested and received Letter of Recommendations


• March 25: Started my EPIK application


• March 31: Submitted EPIK application


• April 11: EPIK Skype Interview


• April 13: EPIK interview passed


• April 15: Sent FedEx of all documents except FBI Criminal Background Check


• May 25: Sold my car


• May 27: Sent FedEx of FBI CBC


• June 27: Passed my TEFL Course


• July 13: Emailed TEFL Certificate and diploma


• July 19: Obtained Apostille for diploma and emailed to recruiter


• July 27: Declined/Rejected from Seoul and emailed recruiter new preference choices.


• August 10: No News!

I have been checking my email and clicking "Send/Receive" button so often I'm afraid I may break it.  I check my Facebook groups for any shred of information that I'm afraid I may break that as well.  I keep hearing that EPIK is understaffed and overworked.  But I wonder if they truly understand someone in my position.  In the last 5 days, I've sent off over 20 responses to teaching jobs in Taiwan.  But the best way to get a job in Taiwan is to fly there and look for a job.  Scary!

After 7 months of preparation and countless amounts of money in documents and FedEx/USPS fees, I am NOWHERE! What I wasn't prepared for was a rejection.  I still haven't been rejected nor wait-listed.  I graduated with 3.7 GPA and successfully completed an Honors Thesis.  I even have a TEFL certificate.  So what did I do wrong???  Now the problem is that I didn't request another FBI  CBC, which is a requirement for ANY/ALL jobs in Korea.  Did I mention it took 9 weeks to get my FBI CBC (and that was quick)!  My only option is somehow manage to get an F-4 (Heritage Visa-whole other world of problems await) or fly to Taiwan in hopes of finding a job.

So now what?!?! Where do I go from here?

Can I still be a modern day nomad with 100 lb. of luggage?

One of the items on my bucket list is to live in a foreign country.  I've moved around from one state to another and often thought of myself as a semi-nomad.  So moving to another country is not really a stretch.  But in recent months, I became cognizant of the fact that I was far from being a nomad.

As I attempt to purge my life from the years of sedentarism, I've come to the realization that I have too much...stuff.  There are categories of stuff: memory, necessity, and comfort.  The things that hold memories go into the keep pile, perhaps for storage.  Necessity can be a little tricky.  Is it necessary to have 10 pairs of jeans, 14 coats, 30 or so pairs of shoes, countless t-shirts, lotions, make-up, scarves, hats, purses...etc?  Well, I am a girl.  But, no.  Since this category will take up the most amount of space, I will have to do a trial pack.  I freely admit to this.  Yes, I will do a trial pack (probably more than one).  Comfort is another issue altogether.  I'm told that if you are living in a foreign country, it is important to bring things to make the stay a little easier.  There is a romantic notion that everything will be rosy, peachy (or whatever) with living abroad.  All the new people you'll meet, food you'll eat, and places you'll visit.  But the reality of living abroad is different.  It can be stressful and lonely, so many expats have recommended that "newbies" pack some comfort items.

But where do I draw the line?

How much stuff do I pack?  Airlines have a limit on the number and weight of baggages.  For some people, 50 lb. per bag seems unreasonable even for a 2 week holiday.  When I've travelled to Europe, my backpack never exceeded the weight limit.  My philosophy was and still is, if I can't carry, I'm not bringing it (and I have trouble carrying more than 30 lb. without falling over).  But I realized that this philosophy should only be applied in cases of holiday travel rather than a year long stay.  But here is the dilemma, where do I draw the line of bringing too much and not enough?  It's not as if I'm moving to some back country with no western amenities.  This is South Korea: the land of super speed internet, public transportation, and is the 15th largest economy.

I don't want to be tied down by stuff when I move.  This is my attempt at a nomadic lifestyle I've always wanted.  But can I still be a modern day nomad with 100 lb. of luggage?

All In

When I first started my EPIK (English Program in Korea) process, I knew it was going to be long and I had to have a lot of patience.  In most cases, waiting is not a big deal.  Waiting without certainty is a problem for me.  I'm a planner.  I make plans for my plans.  I also make back-up plans to my back-up plans. Must be my OCD tendencies.

So what's my point?  I have no "Plan B" this time (because this was my "Plan B").  I went "All In" with my EPIK application.  I've already sold my car and I'm in the process of selling all my worldly possessions (except for 4 boxes of my beloved books).  With 39 days left before the "departure" date, I still don't have a confirmation for the job, visa, or plane ticket.  I'm still waiting and waiting and waiting.

It never occurred to me until now, but I am making a huge bet with my life and I've been doing this for a long time.  I know this isn't some life or death situation and it probably sounds more dramatic than necessary.  What I meant is that I've always went "All In" when making huge life altering decisions.  I moved to San Francisco, San Diego, and Boulder without a job.  I had a vague idea of what I wanted, hoped, and planned to do once I got there.  But I never had a plan if things didn't work out.  I was always convinced that things would magically work itself out...no matter what.  Thinking back on these decisions, it was absolutely insane.  Sometimes things worked out well and other times I struggled.  But in each and every case, I've never regretted my decision.

So right now, I'm still waiting to hear back about a possible job in Korea.  There is no certainty that I will get the job.  As the clock ticks another minute then hour, my patience wanes and I grow more weary.  I wait helplessly, but I'm hopeful that I made the right decision to go "All In"...for a once in a lifetime adventure.

First Huddle: Information Dissemination Problem

Sometimes, I have a tendency towards OCD.  Not the kind where I turn the light on and off, over and over again.  I re-read the same email or pamphlet because I'm afraid I may have glossed over some important information.  Especially lately, I re-read all the steps I need to take in order to secure a teaching position and gather all the documents for my visa.  I knew that this process was going to be long and complicated.  But I was confident that my organizational skills would alleviate some of the stress.  Four weeks into the process, I was feeling pretty good with my progress.  Until this morning.

I was looking through the visa process (the online version rather than the PDF both courtesy of my recruiters) and found out that I should have sent a letter with my FBI Criminal Background Check to request for an Apostille.  Apparently, some states will not Apostille an FBI CBC.  Even if they do, you may face problems with the immigration office because it's not from the FBI (thank you fellow bloggers for this information).  The FBI instruction doesn't even mention anything about Apostille, expect in the FAQ section.  A search to find a phone number or an email address to the department that handles CBC has yet to yield any results.

So, what is a girl to do?  Send yet another request to the FBI and re-start the clock.  Luckily, I'm sending a State Criminal Record as my placeholder with my application to buy a little extra time.  But this was a valuable lesson and I learned three things: 1) My OCD tendency can be a blessing, 2) Patience is absolutely necessary in this process, and 3) Huddles are just huddles, a minor nuisance in a long journey ahead.

Gyopo Discrimination?

Since I decided to pursue a teaching post in South Korea, I've been doing a little research into the different types of jobs and happened to come across the word 'gyopo' or 'kyopo' in some of the job posts.  After doing a quick search on Google, I found out that I was also a gyopo.  As someone who spent the past 20 some years in the states, I admit I am ignorant in the ways of the Koreans.  Part of this ignorance is my fault, but another part is just the cultural environment of my childhood and beyond.

The reason why I want to stress this part is because there are alarming number of blogs that talk about the discrimination a 'gyopo' faces in Korea.  This was a shocking discovery because it never occurred to me that people would discriminate against someone like me for not being Korean enough.  Now I hope that these blogs are representation of some gyopos who are trying to vent some frustration and it doesn't necessarily reflect the general public opinion of the Koreans.  But I also recognize the genuine feelings of these individuals and that their feelings have to come from somewhere.  So it does raises a question...why does it matter to be a gyopo?  Yes, I've seen the posts.  Something about either being a traitor or lack of understanding by the Koreans.  But I still don't understand.

I remember growing up in South Korea in the 80s and there were more than a few comments made about me not being Korean.  I was very young and didn't really understand much of what that meant.  Yes, I went to a school for American children, but I also had Korean friends in my neighborhood.  I didn't remember my birthplace (Louisiana), since I was two when we moved to Korea.  My entire family on my mother side was Korean, so why wasn't I Korean?  When I moved back to the states, it wasn't any better.  I moved to a suburb of Minnesota, where I was the only Asia kid in my grade.  I was singled out because of distinct Asian features and Korean trained social behaviors.  Since I was cut off from the world I knew, I learned to adapt very quickly to my new surroundings just to feel normal.

My story is not particularly different from many other gyopos out there.  I am also trying to reconnect to my ancestral past as so many other Korean Americans.  But I have to admit I hesitated (just for a moment) when I read these blogs.  What I learned is that I can either take this as an opportunity despite some negative impact or stay home.  Well, I'm not the type to shy away from an adventure because of some negative side effects.  But I would like to invite any others out there who may have some positive stories (I know there has to be some).

Beginning of a new journey

So, I decided to teach English in South Korea!  After many hours of on-line research, I pick a recruiting agency and have my first phone interview on Friday.

Why did I decide to teach English in Korea?  I decided that I needed a 'Plan B' in case I didn't get into graduate school.  When the application deadlines approached, I realized that I wasn't ready...rather my application wasn't quite there yet.  As a transfer student, I barely got to know my professors after one year.  It seemed unlikely that they knew me well enough to give me a good letter of recommendation.  I also 'tanked' my GRE and my writing sample is still in the rough draft stage.  So my 'Plan B' became my 'Plan A' in a matter of 2 months.  But I grew more excited as I did my research.  Not only do I get to re-discover my Korean heritage, but the schools actually pay really well.  So my graduate school plans will wait, at least another year.

I'm sure there will be many ups and downs, but I'm sure it will change my life.