All In

When I first started my EPIK (English Program in Korea) process, I knew it was going to be long and I had to have a lot of patience.  In most cases, waiting is not a big deal.  Waiting without certainty is a problem for me.  I'm a planner.  I make plans for my plans.  I also make back-up plans to my back-up plans. Must be my OCD tendencies.

So what's my point?  I have no "Plan B" this time (because this was my "Plan B").  I went "All In" with my EPIK application.  I've already sold my car and I'm in the process of selling all my worldly possessions (except for 4 boxes of my beloved books).  With 39 days left before the "departure" date, I still don't have a confirmation for the job, visa, or plane ticket.  I'm still waiting and waiting and waiting.

It never occurred to me until now, but I am making a huge bet with my life and I've been doing this for a long time.  I know this isn't some life or death situation and it probably sounds more dramatic than necessary.  What I meant is that I've always went "All In" when making huge life altering decisions.  I moved to San Francisco, San Diego, and Boulder without a job.  I had a vague idea of what I wanted, hoped, and planned to do once I got there.  But I never had a plan if things didn't work out.  I was always convinced that things would magically work itself out...no matter what.  Thinking back on these decisions, it was absolutely insane.  Sometimes things worked out well and other times I struggled.  But in each and every case, I've never regretted my decision.

So right now, I'm still waiting to hear back about a possible job in Korea.  There is no certainty that I will get the job.  As the clock ticks another minute then hour, my patience wanes and I grow more weary.  I wait helplessly, but I'm hopeful that I made the right decision to go "All In"...for a once in a lifetime adventure.